7 steps to become the world's best new daddy (and husband)
We mostly focus on new mummies and forget what new daddies must be feeling. Between anxiousness of this life changing event, getting mixed signals from their wives' hormones and feeling lost on what to do, the pressure is really on. Here are a few thoughts on what to do to get through this phase successfully, make your wife feel like a queen as well as become the world’s best new daddy!
Step 1: Be her ROCK
After delivery, your wife becomes an emotional wreck. Her hormones are all over the place and she will be going from a zero to a 100 in under 30 seconds. Her confidence is shuttered and her thoughts are still confused between missing being pregnant (yes!) and not being sure if she can make it as a new mother.
One of the most critical periods in your relationship is the post-partum period. How you act and communicate together as a couple can either make or break your entire relationship. SO what's the first thing you need to do? Be her ROCK. Be the shoulder she cries on whenever she feels like it. Bear with her and tell her that it will be ok. Get her confidence back bit by bit.... Once you cross this phase successfully, Your wife will forever remember you for being the world’s best DAD and HUSBAND.
Step 2: Tell her “You did a great job, hunny”
One of the most vulnerable moments in a woman’s life will be straight after delivery. Whether it was a normal delivery or a C-section surgery, it is an energy-draining and exhausting few hours (or days). So its important that you acknowledge how tough the whole experience was and how proud you are of her. The more she feels recognized and loved, the faster she will recover. Get her some flowers or surprise her with a few balloons after she comes back to her room or home. Or go all the way out and get her a “push gift” (It is a real thing, Google it). No matter how big or small just make sure you tell her “You did a great job hunny, and I couldn't be more proud of you”
Step 3: Help her get her looks back
This is very very very important. New mommies are usually at their worst (looks-wise) the weeks after delivery. She is sleepless, tired, she still hasn't lost the extra baby weight, breastfeeding hurts like crazy (and she didn't see that one coming!) and she might be recovering from stitches or a c-section scar. She NEEDS your support to get her beauty back. Keep telling her she looks beautiful and that she will still be beautiful no matter what. The more you say it, the more she will believe it and start feeling confident again.
On a more practical note, when she is ready in her own time she might decide to embark on a healthier diet and lifestyle. In this case, you need to do it together. Go for jogs, or hit the gym in baby's nap time, then come back and take turns in cooking the meals. This is a very important aspect in getting control back over both of your lives and when you do it together, your bond grows stronger.
Step 4: Spend quality time with your baby
Change your baby's diapers and try to do it regularly for the first few days then take turns with your wife after she is physically capable. Also learn how to heat the bottle and how to sooth them back to sleep. This will be the first step on a long road in getting to know your baby and to building a strong bond between you two. In addition, It will make all the difference in the world to your wife.
Step 5: Take some time off, too
It’s important as a "Super-dad" to take some time off your duties too. New mothers are often encouraged to take a few hours off every week and so should new dads. So call the dudes (or other dads), and hang out for a couple of hours every week or just take time off to watch your favorite game or show. Whatever you prefer, the idea is to recharge and keep your happiness level up too.
Step 6: Cuddle
A “date night” might be impossible in the first few weeks, but it’s important to take one night every week where you spend some quality time together, even if its stay-at-home date. Cook something light or order your favorite takeout, put on some light music or your favorite movie (depending on how tired you are), or just dim the lights, cuddle and talk…Start reflecting on all what you are going through together and how you are both feeling to keep this bond alive and strong.
Step 7: Take pictures…cherish the moment
No matter how hard it might seem today, believe it or not, you will actually miss it all when it’s over (and then probably start planning for baby#2!). So make the best out of the moment, enjoy your new baby and new family. Celebrate it by spending as much time as possible together and taking plenty of pictures to record the moments. Go for walks, meet family or other friends with babies…laugh off the small things and solve together the big ones...enjoy every single moment, even the tiresome ones, and don’t forget to give credit for yourself. Cuz you are one GREAT dad! :-)